Random Writings I Recently Found
I didn’t sleep the night before I left for China. Not because I couldn’t, but because I spent the whole night packing. I put my entire life into two suitcases and a backpack and then took a two hour nap. The drive to the airport in Miami wasn’t pleasant. My mom yelled at me for the majority of the car ride. I really can’t remember why she was mad. In summary, she just didn’t want me to leave home. She made me cinnamon toast to eat on the way. I munched it down, purposely, trying to block out the screaming and yelling. At this point I knew I was making the correct decision in leaving. She became a mad woman. I had never experienced such hostility. My mother had transformed into a delirious drill sergeant attempting to command my life. I was scared. How bipolar could one be. One moment she’s saying motherly things like, “Call me as soon as you arrive in California, call me as soon you get to Beijing, call me as soon as you get to Hangzhou, I love you, I‘ll miss you,” and then the next few words might as well have been spoken by a notorious prison ward trying to lock me up forever.
After finding my terminal, getting through security, and nearly losing my boarding pass and passport (probably due to lack of sleep) I knew I was free. My wingspan had finally and fully reached its full spread. I’m a twenty year old kid embarking on a great Asian adventure. I knew deep down I’d miss a lot of people, but I brought with me all the company I would need; Henry David Thoreau, Niccolo Machiavelli and within a month and a half I quickly gravitated to some more works of Paulo Coelho.
I’m walking through a crowd of people in a bar that I’m not familiar with. People are spilling their drinks and we all bump into each other because space is limited and because the majority of us just don’t care. We’re all having a good time and everyone’s intentions are simply to have fun. We dance and share dance partners. I dance with girls from Germany, France, China, America, Iran, and maybe others that I can’t remember. To be fair, I started with my Corona, but I have no idea what came after that.
“Just drink this, Louie.”
“Wait, what is it?”
“Just drink it!”
“What is it?”
“Just drink it.”
“WHAT IS IT!”
“FUCK, just drink it.”
I drank the shot, and I did one of those body shakes as a reaction to its bitterness. It felt great. I always feel stronger after a shot. It really hardens you up. Really takes the bitch out of you. I’m just listening to music. I’m jumping up and down with my left hand in the air and my index finger is pointed out and I’m having a brilliant time. That feeling of bliss when you completely let go of yourself and not give a damn what anybody else thinks. It’s freedom. I run my hands through my long hair and I don’t want this night to end.
The problem with making a bad decision is that if you make a bad decision right when someone else makes a bad decision, you could be in a fucked up position. For example, crossing the road in China when you are not given the go ahead. You can’t be sure whether or not the Chinese will stop simply because the light is red. Always wait for the “safe to walk” symbol. It doesn’t make it actually safe, but it’s what you’ll have to work with. Back home in America, my mother always told me to look both ways before crossing the road. In China, you can’t just look both ways, in China, you have to look everyway. Cars are coming in every which direction. Stampedes of scooters swarm the streets. You are no longer just crossing a road. You have entered into a world of frogger.
I feel so drained. I think it’s a combination of things that have led me to feel like this. I’m not too sure how I feel about this Creatine that I’ve been taking. Ever since my first consumption of it I haven’t been well enough to workout. Yesterday, I remember feeling as if I was going to faint at any given moment. I had to teach two classes and I barely managed to get through it. Teaching here in China has really been a rewarding experience. I’ve learned a lot and I’ve grown a lot in the short three months that I’ve been here.
Most people don’t move out their parents house and also move out the country at the same time. I think I’m learning a lot of valuable lessons from living on my own and especially in a foreign country. I think the most important concept I’m getting a grasp of is the value of money. Back home, in the United States, I underestimated the value of a dollar. I think now that I’m on my own I’ve begun to be more conservative and also keenly aware of my spending habits.
